


Run; Stop

by legolahs



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen, Implied Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-05
Updated: 2013-04-05
Packaged: 2017-12-07 13:17:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/748925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legolahs/pseuds/legolahs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of all things he had ever experience and ever will, the thing that ultimately destroys the Doctor is himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Run; Stop

Back on the TARDIS, The Doctor looked wistfully at the console. Many things were running through his head: mainly how long and sad his life really was. Everyone left in the end, and he would be left with nothing but this police box. This time machine. Why did it have to be like this? For him? What had he ever done to deserve this kind of life?

Watching the Ponds wither and die, with nothing he could do to stop it. It broke his heart. Maybe this incarnation was a bit more sentimental. More connected to his companions. No, how could he say that. He was always connected to his companions. Maybe it was just the light of Amy and Rory's untimely and undeserving deaths that he realised that he couldn't go on like this.

Taking people as companions? He just got them in danger. It didn't matter that they liked it, that after a small exposure to his life, they  _craved_  it. It shouldn't matter. He led them into danger, into their deaths. He was a monster.

And he knew that forever, he would keep on saving the world from other monsters.  _But who would save the world from himself?_

_"You have no idea how dangerous you make people to themselves when you're around."_

He really had no idea, did he? Until now, until it was way too late.

He could see his future mapped out ahead of him. Every day, the same things. Traveling around with whomever was his companion, running from aliens, saving the world, more or less. But he didn't want that now. Maybe the world didn't need saving from all the aliens. After all, why was he saving the world anyway? What did he ever owe the universe, why was he the saviour? The "Doctor"?

He longed more than anything to be able to let go of his life. He wish he was human. Oh, he wished, so hard. He always said how important people were. How much they could do. But he never said how they could choose their own paths. How they could choose to be important, or choose to be a tiny insignificant speck on the map of the universe. How he wished he could be that insignificant speck, how he could take his whole life and end all the suffering that he'd done, all the suffering that was sure to come.

Not sure when all these thoughts came to mind. He had finally broke, his mind shattered beyond repair. He could never think of his escapades as "fun" and "adventurous" anymore. How could he have not seen it sooner, that his influence on the universe was anything but positive? All this time, all of time and space, nine hundred years it took him to realise that all he did was hurt and destroy. A path of pain and death trailing in his wake.

Couldn't he just leave everything? For once, in his life, just leave everything and erase himself of the universe? Why should he have a purpose to live anymore, if all he did was ruin every good thing that ever happened to him?

He knew exactly how a time lord died. Regeneration was a strange thing. He wish he could avoid it, forever. Just die. Shouldn't it be simple, dying? Should be easy and fatal, one blow.

_"It's time to stop running."_

"I'm so sorry." His hand trailed along the console and he looked up at his beloved time machine, but even she was no reason to stay anymore. Silently, he pressed a couple of buttons on the machine and waited for his long-awaited death. Oh, how wonderful it would finally feel to be dead.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading this, it was fun to delve into the mind of the Doctor and play around. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
